Total Sadness

It's been one week without Cowboy. Last Sunday, the 1^st of April, Eric's dad Randy took Cowboy to a no kill shelter for us. It's still hard to believe he's gone and we have little reminders every day that make us cry, miss him, and want him back. But we know we can't handle him right now. About 2 months ago, Cowboy started acting out. If you know Cowboy, that probably sounds like his behavior since birth. He's always been a handful of a dog. I worried a little how he would react to Brady but for the first 6 months he was the same old dog. Then, I started to notice his behavior getting worse gradually. I'm with the dogs and Brady all day every day, so sometimes that makes it harder to see things if they change slowly.

Well, Sugar came inside with a pretty gnarly gash in her neck. I figured Cowboy got too rough, but since I didn't see it happen, I just cleaned her up and it healed pretty quickly. With that on my mind, I realized he was definitely being more aggressive towards Sugar. If I pushed Cowboy off the couch, he would snap at Sugar. As if it was her fault I wouldn't let him be all up in my face while I ate popcorn. I would yell NO at him and spank him. But that has never really worked on Cowboy. Maybe a week later, he snapped at me. I couldn't deny it anymore. Something was going way wrong with my Cowboy. I was nervous to touch him or discipline him wondering 'would he actually bite?'

I talked to Eric about it, then he finally saw for himself. Cowboy snapped at me again. It was so scary. He wasn't biting or even making contact but it was a dominance thing and I didn't like it one bit. The final straw.. I had started putting the dogs outside separately after the gash incident. Cowboy came in muddy, we put Sugar out, and then Eric was wiping his paws clean. Eric grabbed the last back paw to wipe as Cowboy started walking away. I saw the whole thing happen and it might not have felt great but it definitely didn't hurt him. Cowboy just didn't like it. So he turned around, and with all his hair standing up, lunged at Eric. Barking. I was in total shock. Eric and Cowboy have always been so tight. SO incredibly close. If he would do that to Eric, he would do it to anyone.

I told Eric that I knew Cowboy had a lot of good in him. But he needed to be the only pet in a house with no small children. Eric wanted to try exercising him to see if that would get his aggression out. I believe it would and will, but neither Eric nor I have time to exercise Cowboy as much as he needs. And what exactly should I do with Brady and Sugar while I'm busy running Cowboy all day? Not practical. And that doesn't change the fact that he's a bully to Sugar and could really hurt Brady. I agreed to let Eric try. I wanted to try EVERYTHING we could before letting go. Well, it didn't work. Eric ran him a few times in the morning before work. But Eric couldn't keep it up. Some mornings he has to leave by 4 am and others are still pretty early.

Eric and I tried to find Cowboy a home ourselves, but we don't know ANYONE around Houston that doesn't already have pets and/or a baby. I've judged people in the past so harshly for 'getting rid' of a dog. I won't ever again. I believe taking a pet is a huge commitment and I wouldn't get rid of a dog for any reason other than aggression. I've always been an advocate for pit bulls and said 'if those owners would do the right thing with their dogs, pits wouldn't have such a bad reputation. If you see aggression in your dog do something about it!' Well, I'm eating my words! I love Cowboy so much and said to Eric several times, I wish I could have talked to him and he would've understood. “Stop acting like this Cowboy so we can keep you!” Bottom line is, we can't risk it with Brady. We will eventually have more kids and I cannot and will not have a dog around that I can't trust. A friend of mine that went through something similar, said a long time ago to me, that if you have a dog that 'well you just can't get in his face' or 'well he just doesn't like that so don't do it', you let the dog take over and everyone else tiptoes around the dog. I never forgot it. We can't be selfish and keep Cowboy when it's not good for us or for him. And you can't have an unpredictable dog as a family pet. Period.

I hate to think that Cowboy will be remembered as aggressive. It bothers me SO much. There are some wonderful things about him. He is such a cuddler, makes the funniest faces and sounds, will do anything for a cookie, and is as cute as a button. I've cried 4 times while writing this. It's going to take a long time to get used to not having him. We had Cowboy for 2 ½ years. Sugar moped for the first few days, but is getting better. She's able to relax and eat and sleep in peace. The first 2 mornings Brady looked for Cowboy. Talk about heart breaking. Brady got the biggest smile every time he saw Cowboy. He saw Sugar come in and looked behind her for Cowboy's goofy face. Eric is taking it the hardest since they were so close. He got a notice in the mail from the vet that he was do for a visit and it hit him pretty hard. I'm doing alright. It's very up and down. Basically, this is the stuff about being the adult and parent that sucks. One of the first tough decisions we've had to make. We check the website regularly to see if he's been adopted yet. I hope and pray he will find the perfect home where he is the center of attention and will be spoiled rotten.